Me and the Dentist are BFFs

Speaking of pain, I got to spend an hour and a half of quality time with my Best Friend Forever, the dentist yesterday. I don't really want my BFF to be the dentist, but it seems like we hang out way too often. In the previous sentence, "hang out" means:

• Sit in his chair
• Let him work on my teeth with an industrial-strength drill
• Smell smoke and realize that burning smell is, um, me
• Try not to cry
• Make grunts as I try to form answers when he asks questions
• Try not to drool on myself too much as I leave his office

I am on a first-name basis with everyone in the office. I'm not exaggerating about this - when the dentist saw me he shook my hand and said "How's it going brother?" He is very friendly and competent but I DO NOT want to know the dentist so well that he calls me "brother".

I had a chipped crown that he had to drill and grind out of my mouth so that he could put a new one in. Sweet angel of death, it hurt. I broke into a cold sweat as I got worked over. It was a long hour and a half.

Judging by how often I see the dentist, you'd think I haven't touched a tooth brush since Vanilla Ice was cool. But that's not true. In fact the last time I had a cleaning, I heard the hygienist going around to her other hygienist friends saying "My patient's home care is excellent!" She was like a proud parent.

With my "excellent home care", I'm not sure how I continue to develop problems worthy of hanging out with my "brother" the dentist. I'm hoping it will be a long time before we get to hang out again.



What's your best dentist story?

Once after a root canal I couldn't drive home because I was so loopy after 2 hours of laughing gas.